Robbie Williams – Feel
Guns’n’Roses – Estranged
Within Temptation – Ice queen
My darkest days – Porn star dancing
System of a down – Aerials
The Shadows – Apache
Radiohead – Airbag
Manic street preachers – Your alone is not enough
Chris Rea – Josephine
Temple of the dog – Hunger strike
Dire straits – Calling Elvis
P.O.D – Alive
Motörhead – Orgasmatron
Bloodhound gang – Hefty fine
Skunk Anansie – Brazen weep
Mercyful Fate – Evil
James – Getting away with it
Beck – Loser
Creed – One last breath
Silverchair – Pure massacre
Thanks sys ❤
Im a bit slow with news, I tend to miss them and especially the interesting ones. Like when the amazing horse Hickstead died during the world cup, live, nationwide. And today my mother (pretty embarassing somehow) wondered if I had seen the worldfamous jockey Espen Ski push a fellow rider during a race. “Well, ofc” I responded and turned to google. Even if I feel embarassed that my mum knows more about what’s happening in ‘my’ sport, it’s nothing compared to how embarassing it is to see such a great jockey behave like this. Seriously? You break my heart Espen.. That’s not okey. Shame on you!
3 hours sleep before crawling through Shitlake to the trainstation to meet up with my mother. Im glad I didnt have to get further on my own, or I would have turned back home and pretended it was all just a dream or imagination. 4 and a half hour later we land in Stockholm, taxi to the racecourse and after alot of nervous giggles we managed (somehow) to find the right stable. I have to be honest here, first thought when I saw him was “hell no..” but after only a few seconds it was just pure love. The guy is so calm, down to earth, reticent and pleasant. Exactly what I need to feel comfortable. Hopefully he thought he same, because we went straight for having a look at the horses, say hi to the other employes and discuss the work. At the end, we only had one small problem; I need somewhere to live. I mean, come on.. A big city! Shouldnt there be full of apartments? Not a single freaking place. Unless Iw ant to share with some perv that rents a room, but only to girls, or places for insanely prices and where Im not allowed to bring pets. Mufinz is not a pet, she’s my baby! But nu-uh.. No apartment for me. Great.. Here Inot just find but also get my dreamjob, my boss is 76 year old and knows pretty much everything and he’s so amazing with the horses, so tender and caring, and it’s impossible to get a place to sleep and have my cat and computer while I work. My only hope atm is a random guy who wants to rent his tiny tiny tiny apartment while studying in some other city, I’ve been watching my mail constantly all weekend, hoping for a response. Why is it so hard to read a mail? Come on! Just give the goddamn apartment to me! Rawr!
Judas Priest – Painkiller
ZZ Top – Gimme all your lovin’
Iron maiden – Remember tomorrow
Terrorvision – Oblivion
Rainbow -Stargazer
16 Horsepower – American Wheeze
Eels – Novocaine for the soul
Lordi – Who’s your daddy
Smashing pumpkins – Doomsday clock
Faith no more – Evidence
Im highly disappointed at the officers in my guild atm. They’re great people and I love working beside them when they put some effort in to something, but lately I’ve felt lonely and abandoned to sort everything myself. It feels like if Im not the one throwing out invites for raids, no one else will do it, and when I wont bother it just proves me right – nothing happens. Not until I ask why, or tell someone to do it. Is it because the waiting for 4.3? In my opinion, FL is still young and we havent cleared it all but everyone else moans about them being fed up. Where’s the spirit behind downing a heroic boss? After we got Raggy down we have just dropped until no one wants to lift a finger anymore, it makes me both sad and upset. And it’s times like this when officers has to be strong and step in, find a solution to this misery and do something to cheer our friend and fellow guildmembers up – but in our guild the officers has the worst attitude. Left alone in /o I try to please people, try to keep their spirit up and try to keep things running smoothly but I feel that the less the other officers are on, the more time I have to put on keeping others happy and less time on enjoying the game. I try to balance recruiting, sort 2 raidteams, keep an eye on gbank, take care of applications and talk to guildies with some time for my own gaming and friends. I enjoy it, because it makes me happy to know that people feel they get to have a opinion, that someone listens to them and cares about what they have to say, someone trying to help them out. But am I alone about that? Why dont the others think like that? Isnt that a mainpart for officers? To help and sort and be there to make the game worth the money?
It’s been up to discussion to sort out tasks for each officer, but in the end we’re back to a spot where nothing happens and people are only on to raid, moan about FL or mind their own business. Where did the friendship go? Why is it so scary to spend some time together and do something else if FL is so boring?
For christmas, I would like to get the cheerful and happy guildies back. Those who, instead of saying they got more important things to do, would feel that their responsibility as officers and raiders is a just as important thing to do and that it only takes an hour a day to log in, be social and try help out to make the guild funnier to be in.
Suddenly, quitting seems so very close to happening..
Will Deathwing bring the friendly spirit back to the guild?
Like always there is some ups and some downs. Whoever created life must have been a big fan of rollercoasters, because it’s the only way to describe it with. Currently, Im on a flow. Almost. It’s surprisingly how people I thought where my friends leaves me when I starts to become happy. The happier I get, the further away they end up. Or is it me, not noticing creating the distance? I have had alot to think of lately – it’s not an excuse, just a statement.
After giving up on the english trainer and recovering from the disappointment, I found the will to keep working for finding my dreamjob and I put together a short but honest mail about myself and my knowledge and sent it to Svensk Galopp‘s inititative to get young people into the sport, called Ung Galopp. Two hours later I got the first phonecall, from a trainer who offered me to ride for him on mornings. Since I lived too far away and want full part, I said no. The day after I recieved another phonecall, from a trainer on Täby Galopp, and he wanted me to come up and test ride for him. I felt amazed, so huged to get a chance to ride for a trainer on Täby with so many good horses through the years, a trainer with so much experience. That he even considered me and wanted to give me this opportunity is a victory in itself and even if I dont get the job, Im still very proud of myself.
So.. After melting the news and trying to get back down on the earth, Im trying to sort the trip up to our capital city to ride on the amazing track of Täby. Do I need to mention how nervous I am? I seriously can’t focus on anything else atm, it still feels like a dream, I can barely believe it. It’s okey if people think Im silly and overthinking this but it is truly a dream come true. This is what I want, what I’ve been working for and what I’ll do in the future.
And Im very happy of the support I’ve got from my family and the few friends who bothers to stick around. It makes me proud to know that you guys believe in me and wants to help out so I can get this chance, even the job hopefully.
In a few days I might trade the dressage against racing
What scares me the most is.. that I havent been riding a racehorse for God knows how long. I’ve spent all afternoon practising, reading up and learning about the horses pedigrees, the trainers horses and their victories, what to do, how to do it, what to remember.. Im preparing as much as possible. If the riding goes meeh, I might impress him enough with my knowledge and he’ll give me a chance anyway. I hope so.. Fingers crossed!
A false friend is like a shadow:
In the sunshine, you can never get rid of him – in the rain, he vanish without a trace
Iggy & Tge Stooges – Search and destroy
The New York Dolls – We’re all in love
Hardcore Superstar – She’s oofbeat
The Rasmus- Run to you
Murderdolls – She was a teenage zombie
Jefferson Airplane – White rabbit
Cheap Trick – Surrender
Velvet Revolver – She builds quick madness
Satana – She’s not here
Alice in chains – Rooster
There’s so much that matters, that affects our lives whether we like it or not. No matter how good things look, every day is a struggle – a struggle to keep it like that, because even when you’re on top there isn’t much needed to bring you back down again.
Currently, Im feeling peaceful. I’ve told myself to let go and move on and it’s working. Going through one day at a time, sorting one mess at a time, Im slowly making progress and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even tho I know it might change soon, more stuff will block my way, I somehow sense a purpose and a invisible hand is there to keep me up when life tries to beat me down.
I feel loved.
Haector's Blogg 